who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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