that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
