Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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