i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
