Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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