I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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