She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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