We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
