Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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