I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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