can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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