So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
