just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my liver is dry heaving
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
