i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
