Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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