i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
