oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
