The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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