Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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