I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize