I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize