Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
