Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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