More tranny stories later!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
