How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
