I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
