Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
