Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
