when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize