I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
