so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
