I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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