I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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