Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
