At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
