if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
