My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
