life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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