first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I forgot how hot balto sounded
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
