Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
