Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
