So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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