I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He has the fingertips of a God
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
