Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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