you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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