i just wanna soil my oats bro
They should really pass out barf bags in church
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We got so high we made milksteak
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize