I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
