I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
