tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
