I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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