Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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