Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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