he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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