none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
