Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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