Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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