barbara walters just said penis...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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