dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
