Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
