Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
