Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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